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i literally don’t remember what bendylegs crumblbread’s real name is anymore
i’ve had like half a shot of vodka; i don’t think that’s it
cummerbund? cumberbatch? it can’t be cumberbatch. how could that possibly be a real person’s name?
oh man i just got hit with a wave of fanfic memories
the time i lied about my age to an administrator of a jane austen smutfic archive to get the password, then she saw me posting about “doing my homework” on an unrelated jane austen forum and banned me, then i lied to her AGAIN to let me back in (but seriously though, people who are 18+ often still have homework? i feel like i was somehow in the right in this scenario, even though i definitely was not, if you’re going on pure facts)
or the fact that i had a close friend for a while who was obsessed with Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman fanfic but had never seen the show
and I also had the login for a smutfic archive of that, although i don’t remember having to lie to get it, and i still remember what it is
OH MY GOD I JUST FOUND THE SITE AND THE LOGIN STILL WORKS IM SO GLAD
here is a choice quote from the first random fic that I clicked on:
As he gently touched her, he was astounded at the fragrant aroma his extraordinary senses perceived.
i just managed to work an achievement hunter reference into this very melodramatic dark suspenseful romance novel?????
i am so good at this
is it time for weather whining? ok. it’s ALLEGEDLY only 82 today, but when I stepped outside it felt like i was being slapped in the face with oven.
uh masturbating with dildos is a sign that you're just repressing your attraction to men :/
you’re really doing dildos a disservice here they are clearly superior like
for one thing i’ve never had one hop out of a drawer to give me its fucking idiotic opinions
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