ricky nightshade

I want to be your friend, and it’s okay with me that there’s nothing else. But can I just…can I just tell you one time how I feel about you? … Pamela. I’m in love with you. Yeah. It’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up! Let me tell you. Let me!

Every time I look at your face, or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me, and you’re just fun and you shit all over me, and you make fun of me, and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m gonna live a thousand years because that’s how long it’s going to take for me to have one thought about you, which is - I’m crazy about you, Pamela. I don’t wanna be with anybody else. I don’t! I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore, I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train, we were on this train, and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream. You were holding my hand. And I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real.

I’m sick in love you, Pamela. It’s like a condition, it’s like polio. I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you. And I can’t be with you. So I’m gonna die. And I don’t care. ‘Cause I was brought into existence to know you. And that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back, it’s like, greedy. I’m doing a bad job of this.